i just wanted to go home

In hindsight the whole relationship had red flags but i didn’t listen.
In hindsight i should of stayed home.
In hindsight i was in danger when i was 40 miles from my home with him
In hindsight i wasn’t at fault.
In hindsight i should of gotten out of that car.
In hindsight he was a monster.
But what i knew in the moment’s when he was rapeing me i just wanted to go home.
When he shoved his fingers in me , i wanted to go home.
When he pissed in me i wanted to go home.
When he spit on me i wanted to go home.
When he shoved his fingers into my mouth and nearly fishhoked me i wanted to go home.
When i was thrown across the bed i wanted to go home.
When the wooden boards dug into my back and chest i wanted to go home
When i curled around myself in the closet and against the side of the bed staring at my clothes i wanted to go home.
When i felt the final bits of air escape my throat and when i clawed at his arms till mine went limp i wanted to go home.
When i begged the universe to make it stop i wanted to go home.
When he took me to the 7/11 to get his breakfast and me a slurpee all his girls get a slrupee… I wanted to go home.
When i gave the 7/11 employee the look of dear god help me i wanted to go home.
When she gave me my slurpee and gripped the top of my hand i wanted to go home.
When i drove the 40 miles back to my house with him i wanted to scrub him off my body and go home.
When he texted me later that day while i was out i wanted to go home.
I just wanted to go home.